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<< AP source: Haynesworth fails conditioning test
ASHBURN, Va. (AP) -Albert Haynesworth has failed his conditioning test and is being forced to sit out the first practice of the Washington Redskins training camp.A person familiar with the situation told The Associated Press that Haynesworth did not

<< 2010 NFL Training Camp Dates
BALTIMORE RAVENS - McDaniel College, Westminster, Md., rookies: July 26/veterans: July 28.BUFFALO BILLS - St. John Fisher College, Pittsford, N.Y., both July 29.CINCINNATI BENGALS - Georgetown College, Georgetown, Ky., both July 28.CLEVELAND BROWNS

<< AP source: Oswalt says OK for trade to Phillies
PHILADELPHIA (AP) -A person with knowledge of the deal says Houston ace Roy Oswalt has agreed to waive his no-trade clause and accept a swap to the Philadelphia Phillies.The person aware of the trade told The Associated Press that Oswalt must first

<< Thrashers re-sign Ladd
Atlanta, GA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Atlanta Thrashers agreed to terms with forward Andrew Ladd on Thursday. Terms of the contract were not announced, per team policy. The 24-year-old winger came to Atlanta from the reigning Stanley Cu

Seattle inks Fernandez as third DP >>
Renton, WA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Seattle Sounders FC signed Uruguay national team midfielder Alvaro Fernandez, the Major League Soccer club announced on Thursday. The 24-year-old Fernandez, who will be Seattle's third designated pl

Report: Oswalt agrees to waive no-trade clause >>
Philadelphia, PA (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Houston's Roy Oswalt has agreed to waive his no-trade clause, according to multiple media reports, and will be dealt from the Astros to the Philadelphia Phillies. Comcast SportsNet in Philadelphia

Orioles hire Showalter as manager >>
Baltimore, MD (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Baltimore Orioles have hired Buck Showalter to be their next manager. A press conference is scheduled for Monday and Showalter is expected to assume his role as manager on August 3 to begin a s

Pena, Price lead Rays to sweep of Tigers >>
St. Petersburg, FL (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Carlos Pena went 3-for-4 with a home run and drove in all of Tampa Bay's runs, as the Rays completed a four-game sweep of the Detroit Tigers with a 4-2 victory. David Price picked up his AL-best

FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.